When Forgiveness Feels Impossible
My heart is still processing this moment and I knew I had to share it with you. When Erika Kirk, in the middle of unimaginable pain, spoke three words — “I forgive him” — the world stopped to listen.
Forgiveness like that doesn’t come from us; it comes from Jesus.
In this episode of Strong. Confident. His., I feel called to talk about what real forgiveness looks like, why it frees us, and how you can take your next step to forgive — whether it’s someone else, or yourself.
This is not about politics. This is about being a Jesus follower.
A Prayer for Erika Kirk, Her Family, and Our Nation
I invite you to pray for Erika and her family. And now I turn this to us: What can we learn? How can we glorify God through this?
Maybe you watched the moment, maybe you didn’t. But it stopped me in my tracks. Erika Kirk, in the middle of unimaginable pain, looked at the man who had taken her husband’s life and said three words: “I forgive him.”
As many of us watched with tears, I thought: This is what it means to be a Jesus follower. Forgiveness when it feels impossible. Forgiveness that shocks the world. Forgiveness that can only come through Him.
God says: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart… and love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22:37–39)
Watching Erika, a wife now widowed, her children now fatherless, showed us something profound: whatever side of politics you’re on is not the point. The point is Scripture, God’s healing Word.
I want to invite you to pray with me — not just for Erika and her family, but for our country. We are a nation in deep need of Jesus. Let’s pray for healing, for unity, and for hearts to turn back to Him.
“If My people, who are called by My name, will humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.” — 2 Chronicles 7:14
Prayer:
Father, we lift up our nation. Heal the brokenness, bring comfort to the grieving, and turn hearts back to You. Let forgiveness and revival start with us, and may Your Spirit move across this land. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
3 Things We Can Learn About Forgiveness Through Jesus
Erika’s words, “I forgive him,” reflect the heart of Christ. Here are 3 biblical lessons we can take to heart:
1. Forgiveness Is Not a Feeling, It’s a Choice
Forgiveness isn’t saying what happened was okay — it’s saying, “I will not stay chained to this pain.”
It’s releasing the offender into God’s hands so He can judge rightly.
Jesus modeled this on the cross: “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34)
Example: Maybe your parent abandoned you, your spouse betrayed you, or a friend wounded you deeply. Left alone, those wounds grow roots of bitterness.
Take a step in faith: Write down the name or situation you need to release. Pray out loud: “Lord, I choose to forgive ____. I trust You to carry this pain and heal my heart.”
2. The Cost of Unforgiveness
Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
Hebrews 12:15 warns: “See to it that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.”
When you cling to hurt, you relive it. You stay tied to the past.
Examples:
- Lying awake replaying the argument.
- Holding back in relationships because, “I’ll never let that happen again.”
- Even sabotaging your own joy because you feel guilty being happy.
Take a step in faith: Each time bitterness rises this week, pause and pray: “Lord, I release this to You. Heal me where it hurts most.”
3. Forgiveness Frees You — Even If They Never Change
Forgiveness is not about the other person’s apology. It’s about your freedom.
Romans 8:1 says: “There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” That includes forgiving yourself.
Colossians 3:13 reminds us: “Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
Examples:
- When the critic in your head says, “You’re a failure,” answer with Romans 8:37: “I am more than a conqueror through Him who loves me.”
- When shame whispers, “You’ll never be free,” declare John 8:36: “Whom the Son sets free is free indeed.”
- When guilt says, “God could never use you,” remind yourself of 2 Corinthians 5:17: “I am a new creation.”
Take a step in faith: Create a “Forgiveness List.” Write down three Scriptures (Romans 8:1, John 8:36, 2 Corinthians 5:17). Speak them aloud every morning this week.
Forgiveness isn’t Weakness. It’ s Spirit-filled Strength
Sister, forgiveness is one of the hardest things you’ll ever do — but it’s also one of the most freeing.
Erika’s words, “I forgive him,” remind us that forgiveness isn’t weakness. It’s Spirit-filled strength. It’s what it looks like to follow Jesus in a broken world.
So let me leave you with this takeaway: Forgiveness frees you. Whether or not they apologize, whether or not they change — forgiveness releases you into the peace and freedom Jesus already purchased for you.
Challenge for this week: Ask God, “Who do I need to forgive — someone else, or myself?” Then take one step: write it down, pray it out, and let God begin to heal the wound.
Listen to the Full Strong. Confident. His. Podcast Episode
I Forgive Him: 3 Words Changing the World Right Now
Maybe someone you love needs this hope today — share it with them.
Remember, You are Strong. Confident. His.
